When I lose the strength to create, I go into a loop of blockages. These blockages materialize in me through physical pain that sometimes paralyzes me. I am mentally very active, and occasionally if and if I can't put a stop to it, it can absorb me. At the beginning of that summer I had reached this point.
We all have our limits and I had reached mine.
I couldn’t give in to anxiety. Feeling burden-free is something that helps me move on and feel free.
I decided to leave the city. I needed to feel close to nature. She is my strength and the one that helps me to reconnect with myself. I went to the beach, but the first few days were very hard for me. I got my period and I was in so much pain. I didn’t have enough energy to move. I also knew that not being able to think straight was making the pain so much worse. I could have stayed at home, but I decided to go swimming in the sea every day. It calmed me down and it helped me realise what was clouding my mind.
I remember how the first day my body was swollen and tight. My own body was asking me to get rid of my clothes and allow it to breathe. However, I was incapable of doing it because I was afraid of being seen by all those people wearing swimming suits.
Then I saw a topless girl and something happened inside me. I realised that my fears were taking away my freedom.
Up until then I had always worked my nudity in private settings and through a lens, either photography or video. However, I realised that I also needed to do it in my own private life and without worrying about others seeing me. That girl had inspired me to take the first step. By taking my bikini top off I lifted a massive weight off.
I decided to challenge myself. I decided to work my nudity a bit more every day, removing layer after layer. For me it was a game and I wasn’t hurting anybody.
Every day I dared to do something new and completely different.
I worked my nudity in the city as well as the beach.
The first day I got completely naked on the beach I had to do it in a hidden area, away from prying eyes as it was not a nudist beach (some people did see me, though). There, I had a photo shoot and I connected with the environment and everything around me. I felt nature giving me all its love.
The next day, by chance and without planning it, I ended up going to a nudist beach. There, I finally felt absolutely free.