If only we were allowed to explore, to accept ourselves and the changes we go through and to get to know ourselves in our childhood, life would be so much peaceful and easier. Sadly, the real situation is different and our sexuality is highly influenced by our education and where and how we grow up. Ever since we are born we are told how we are supposed to be, what to do and not to do in order to fit in.
It's quite curious how when we are young we are "told" that our only option to explore our sexuality is by finding someone to do it with. Then that moment is absolutely idealised. Our sexuality and our exploration and discovery should start within ourselves. Exploring it with someone shouldn't be an obligation, it should be something that adds to our lives.
Learning to listen to ourselves and enjoy ourselves is, in my opinion, paramount. Our sexuality is part of us throughout our lives.
If we focused more on ourselves, what we like, our intimacy, what we do with our bodies, our emotions, what we perceive... we would be able to integrate it all in a more natural way.
Then, when the time came to share our sexuality with someone else, we would feel more free and we'd have less expectations. We wouldn't get frustrated and we wouldn't blame the other person for our own pleasure.
It's ok to explore your sexuality on your own as well as with somebody else. Just as it's ok not to explore it at all. It's your choice. There's no wrong option. However, it is important to ask yourself: have I chosen this option or has someone chosen it for me?
When I was younger I would have liked to have someone who supported me. Someone who let me explore my sexuality from a healthier place, understanding my own process and accepting myself while not blaming myself or feeling alone. Maybe this way, as an adult, I wouldn't have had so many "blocks" that kept me from accepting and loving myself.
In the past few years I have had the chance to explore and get to know myself: my emotions, how I feel about my body, how I feel about nudity or the clothes I wear; how I am with myself and other people, how I live my day to day and the different situations I experience; what are my deep desires and how I perceive myself.
I do it on my own as well as with others, but it all starts with me, being responsible and taking care of myself first.